Unafraid
by umpcai
Summary: Phoebe is not afraid anymore.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Charmed. Some dialogue is taken directly from the show.

**Unafraid**

Miles raised his drink. "To fourth date," he toasted.

After clinking her bottle against her date's, Phoebe Halliwell joked, "Hey, does anything happen on the fourth date that I should be aware of?"

She was getting reacquainted with the dating scene, having just gotten out of a two year relationship and brief marriage.

Phoebe sipped her drink, awaiting Miles response.

He answered, "Well, just the fact that we made it past our third date."

"Oh. Why, you didn't think we would?"

"I don't know," Miles said, "It just seemed like last time you got a little distracted halfway through it."

Phoebe knew what he meant. Her ex and the Demon of Fear, Barbas, had interrupted her last date.

"You know? I mean, we didn't even kiss," Miles continued.

Phoebe set down her drink. She leaned forward and pecked Miles on the lips. He cupped her cheek and pulled her closer.

Phoebe jerked back.

"What? What's wrong?"

Phoebe looked at the man before her. Blonde, not very tall, nothing mysterious or dangerous about him. He was cute, though a bit plain. He was the exact opposite of Cole, who she'd just divorced. Phoebe blinked, aware that Miles was getting worried because she was spacing out.

"I, I have to go," she said, grabbing her purse and standing up.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Miles. You're really great and all, but this isn't gonna work."

A flabbergasted Miles watched her walk away.

Across the room, Piper, Phoebe's big sister, also saw her sister exit P3, the club Piper owned and where Phoebe had seemed to be having an enjoyable date. Piper wondered what went wrong as she glanced at Miles. Turning back to her husband, Piper figured Phoebe would tell her in the morning.

* * *

Once inside her car, Phoebe leaned back in the driver's seat. She sighed deeply. Why had that happened? She was moving on with her life, a life she wanted to be very separate from Cole. Isn't that what she was thinking yesterday when she practically shoved her relationship with Miles in Cole's face?

So, why did Miles' kiss, her first kiss with a man other than Cole in so long, feel so... unfeeling? Why was she so aware of the fact that it wasn't Cole's lips her own were pressed against? Why was she so aware that it wasn't Cole's hands caressing her face and holding her? Why was her heart so unhappy from that little kiss? Why did she think of Cole's heartbroken face as she told him of Miles, of the pain in his eyes every time she repeated that she no longer wanted him? Why did she feel like she betrayed Cole?

Phoebe closed her eyes, trying to stop the thoughts that were racing in her head, trying to block out her heart's answer to all of her questions.

She loved Cole, her heart screamed. Phoebe looked through the windshield at the soft rain falling outside. _I already know that_, she told her heart. But, she was trying so desperately hard not to. She and Cole only ended up hurting each other. She couldn't handle the pain anymore. She couldn't be with him anymore, no matter how much her heart ached because of it.

_I'm an idiot,_ Phoebe thought. _I tried to forget Cole with Miles, and look what happened. A tiny kiss that isn't from Cole and I dump the guy. That's what'll keep happening. I'll hurt more perfectly nice guys, and Cole and I will stay in pain._

Phoebe hadn't realized that she'd started driving. She knew the street she was on. Cole's penthouse was just up ahead. Without thinking, she pulled into the parking lot of his building.

_What am I doing?! If I go up there now, he'll think I want to try again and then I'll have to see his face fall when I tell him I don't. Stop, Phoebe. Just turn around and go home._

Her feet, however, had their own plans. She was in the elevator, already.

_Forget Cole, Phoebe; you're over him. _It was the same mantra the logical part of her mind had been singing to her for the past couple months.

_Denial gets me nowhere_, she admitted. _But, I can't go through it again._

_I'll just thank him for helping yesterday, _she thought, realizing she was at Cole's floor._ Then, I'll leave. No harm in that. I owe him a thank you anyway. He didn't have to help us with Barbas and take back his demonic powers._

"Phoebe? What are you doing here?"

_When did I step off the elevator?_

Cole was on the balcony, the doors leading inside open. He hadn't turned around to speak to her.

She stepped outside, next to him. The rain had stopped. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday."

"You're welcome." He still didn't face her.

Phoebe gazed at his profile. Tall, dark, and handsome. His deep blue eyes weren't looking at her, but she knew their depths by heart. He had an air of mystery around him. He was dangerous, Phoebe knew. Not just because he'd been a demon for more than a hundred years. But, because of how he made her feel. In that way that she never thought she could. In that way that made her never want to kiss anyone else. In that way she was terrified of, because last time she'd given into those feelings it hadn't ended so well.

"I kissed Miles tonight," she blurted. She clapped a hand to her mouth. _Stupid! Don't say anything else. Don't say what you thought about it. Leave. Maybe he didn't hear you. Maybe you can still not hurt him._

Cole's face crumbled as he finally looked at her. _Too late_, she thought, recoiling at what she'd done to him.

"Have you really become that cruel? Wasn't it enough that you told me numerous times yesterday about the guy, that you tell me all the time how much you don't want me? Do you really need to tell me that? Well, congratulations, Phoebe. I'm thrilled for you."

He turned to leave, but Phoebe grabbed his arm. _Don't. You can't deal with the pain again. You're a chicken. Remember that. _"I hated it," she said. "I could only think about how it wasn't you. I want your kisses, Cole, no one else's."

Cole looked at her skeptically, raising his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," Phoebe said. "I was scared and an idiot. You have to forgive me."

Cole hesitated for a second, then moved an arm around her waist, "You didn't like his kiss, huh?"

She grinned, shaking her head, letting him pull her closer. As their lips met, Phoebe saw the clichéd fireworks.

"Better?" Cole questioned, his heart bursting with joy.

She giggled, pulling his face to hers again.

Moving back a little, Cole questioned, "Are you sure? You're taking a pretty big risk, aren't you?"

"I am not afraid," Phoebe declared.

**The End**


End file.
